BDSM Terminology Guide – Common BDSM Terms Explained
BDSM Terminology Guide – Common BDSM Terms Explained
If you're new to BDSM, some of the terminology can initially seem confusing. Words such as bondage, restraint, dominant, submissive, safe word, sensory play and aftercare are commonly used, but their meanings aren't always obvious to somebody exploring BDSM for the first time.
This BDSM terminology guide explains some of the most common words and phrases you're likely to encounter when reading about BDSM, bondage and related equipment.
Terminology can vary between individuals and communities, and people may use the same term slightly differently. Communication is therefore more important than assuming everybody shares exactly the same definition.
What Does BDSM Mean?
BDSM is an umbrella term associated with several overlapping consensual practices and relationship dynamics.
The letters are commonly understood as referring to:
Bondage and Discipline
Dominance and Submission
Sadism and Masochism
Someone can be interested in one aspect of BDSM without being interested in all of them.
Our BDSM for Beginners guide provides a broader introduction if you're completely new to the subject.
Bondage
Bondage generally refers to consensually restricting somebody's movement.
This can involve wrist cuffs, ankle restraints, handcuffs, bed restraints or other equipment designed for appropriate restraint.
Bondage can range from relatively simple wrist restraint to more involved positioning.
Our Beginner's Guide to Bondage Restraints explains the main types of restraint equipment in greater detail.
Restraint
A restraint is something used to limit movement.
Within BDSM this can include cuffs, handcuffs, straps, bed restraints and other purpose-designed equipment.
Different restraints provide different levels of restriction, so understanding how equipment fits and releases is important before use.
Wrist Cuffs
Wrist cuffs are restraints designed to fit around the wrists.
Many BDSM cuffs are wider and more adjustable than conventional metal handcuffs and may contain buckles, D-rings or other attachment points.
Our Guide to Bondage Cuffs explains wrist, ankle and lockable cuffs in more detail.
Ankle Cuffs
Ankle cuffs are restraints designed for the ankles.
They may be used independently or connected to other compatible restraint equipment.
As with wrist cuffs, fit should be secure without causing excessive pressure or interfering with normal circulation or sensation.
Handcuffs
Handcuffs are rigid restraints most commonly consisting of two cuffs connected by a short chain or hinge.
Metal handcuffs can create a different experience from wider bondage cuffs because pressure is concentrated over a smaller area.
Our Guide to Handcuffs & Wrist Restraints explains the differences between common wrist restraints.
Spreader Bar
A spreader bar is a rigid or adjustable bar designed to maintain separation between compatible restraints, commonly at the ankles or wrists depending on the product.
Some designs incorporate their own cuffs, while others connect to separate restraints.
Our Guide to Spreader Bars & Position Restraints explains the different designs in more detail.
Bed Restraints
Bed restraints are systems designed to provide restraint points around a bed or mattress.
Many use adjustable straps together with wrist and ankle cuffs.
Our Beginner's Guide to Bed Restraints & Bondage Sets explains how these systems work.
Bondage Kit
A bondage kit is a collection of BDSM accessories sold together.
Depending on the set, it may contain wrist cuffs, ankle restraints, a blindfold, connecting straps, a gag or other accessories.
Our How to Choose Your First Bondage Kit guide explains what beginners should consider when comparing sets.
Dominant
A dominant is someone who consensually takes a controlling or leading role within an agreed BDSM interaction or relationship dynamic.
Being dominant doesn't remove the other person's right to communicate boundaries or withdraw consent.
The specific meaning of the role depends on what the people involved have agreed.
Submissive
A submissive is someone who consensually gives another person an agreed degree of control within a BDSM interaction or relationship dynamic.
Submission doesn't mean giving unrestricted control to another person.
Boundaries and ongoing consent still apply.
Dom & Sub
“Dom” is a commonly used shortened form of dominant, while “sub” is a shortened form of submissive.
The terms may describe a particular BDSM activity, an ongoing relationship dynamic or how somebody identifies within BDSM.
Switch
A switch is generally someone who may enjoy both dominant and submissive roles.
This might vary according to the partner, activity or situation.
There is no requirement for somebody interested in BDSM to permanently choose one role.
D/s
D/s is an abbreviation for dominance and submission.
It generally refers to consensual dynamics involving an agreed exchange of control between a dominant and submissive person.
The extent and meaning of that exchange varies considerably between relationships.
Safe Word
A safe word is a previously agreed word used to communicate that an activity needs to stop or change.
Some people use a simple traffic-light system such as green, amber and red.
Whatever system is chosen, everyone involved should understand what each signal means before beginning.
Our BDSM Safety, Consent & Aftercare Guide explains safe words and communication in more detail.
Non-Verbal Safe Signal
A non-verbal safe signal is an agreed action that communicates the same information as a safe word when somebody cannot speak normally.
This is particularly important when a gag or other equipment could affect speech.
A signal might involve a specific hand movement or another clear action the people involved have agreed and can reliably recognise.
Consent
Consent means freely agreeing to participate in an activity.
Within BDSM, consent should be informed, specific and ongoing.
Agreeing to one activity doesn't automatically mean agreeing to another, and consent can be withdrawn.
Boundaries
Boundaries describe limits around what somebody is and isn't comfortable doing.
People may distinguish between activities they definitely don't want to explore and those they may consider under particular circumstances.
Discussing boundaries beforehand helps avoid relying on assumptions.
Negotiation
In BDSM, negotiation generally means discussing an activity before it happens.
This can include boundaries, interests, experience, safe words, relevant limitations and what equipment may be used.
It doesn't need to be formal; the important part is clear communication.
Aftercare
Aftercare describes the physical or emotional care people may choose after a BDSM experience.
This might involve reassurance, conversation, water, rest, warmth or simply spending some quiet time together.
Different people want different forms of aftercare, so it's worth discussing preferences rather than assuming.
Sensory Play
Sensory play involves deliberately exploring or changing sensations.
This might involve touch, different textures, blindfolds or sensory accessories.
Our Beginner's Guide to Blindfolds & Sensory Play explores this area in more detail.
Sensory Deprivation
Sensory deprivation within BDSM generally means intentionally reducing one or more senses.
A blindfold is a simple example because it temporarily removes visual information and can increase anticipation of touch.
Reducing somebody's ability to see or communicate also increases the importance of trust and clear stop signals.
Wartenberg Wheel
A Wartenberg wheel is a handheld instrument containing a rotating wheel with a series of points.
Wartenberg-style wheels are used as sensory accessories to create different sensations when appropriately and gently rolled over suitable areas of skin.
Our Beginner's Guide to Wartenberg Wheels & Sensory Toys explains them in greater detail.
Blindfold
A blindfold is used to temporarily remove or reduce sight.
Within sensory play, this can make other sensations feel less predictable because the wearer cannot see what will happen next.
Blindfolds can be used independently or consensually combined with other appropriate BDSM activities.
Gag
A gag is a form of mouth restraint.
Common BDSM designs include ball gags and bit gags.
Because a gag can affect speech and introduce additional risks, communication and a reliable non-verbal stop signal are particularly important.
Our Beginner's Guide to BDSM Gags & Mouth Restraints explains these considerations in more detail.
Ball Gag
A ball gag generally consists of a ball positioned in the mouth and held in place by an adjustable strap.
Designs and ball sizes vary.
It should never be assumed that somebody can communicate normally while wearing one.
Bit Gag
A bit gag uses a bar or bit-style mouthpiece rather than a ball.
It can provide a different fit and experience from a ball gag.
As with other mouth restraints, breathing, communication, fit and safe removal require careful consideration.
BDSM Collar
A BDSM collar is worn around the neck and can have decorative, symbolic or restraint-related purposes depending on the design and the people involved.
Some include D-rings, locks or other attachment points.
Our Guide to BDSM Collars & Neck Restraints provides a broader explanation.
Posture Collar
A posture collar is generally wider and more structured than a conventional bondage collar.
Its design can limit some movement of the neck and encourage a particular head position.
Our Guide to Posture Collars & Bondage Collars explains the differences and important fitting considerations.
Chastity
Chastity play involves consensually restricting or controlling sexual access or stimulation.
It may be explored individually or with a partner and can sometimes form part of a dominance and submission dynamic.
Our Beginner's Guide to Chastity & Control explains the concept in more detail.
Chastity Device
A chastity device is wearable equipment designed to restrict access to the genitals.
Male chastity cages are one common example.
Correct sizing, hygiene and the ability to remove a device when necessary are particularly important.
Our Beginner's Guide to Male Chastity Devices covers sizing, fit and different designs.
Keyholder
Within consensual chastity play, a keyholder is the person who controls the key or release mechanism for a chastity device.
The role doesn't override the wearer's ongoing consent or physical wellbeing.
The exact dynamic depends on what both people have agreed.
Role Play
Role play involves consensually adopting particular characters, scenarios or relationship roles.
Some BDSM role play involves dominance, submission or control, while other forms may have little connection to BDSM.
Discuss boundaries before introducing activities or equipment into a role-play scenario.
Kink
Kink is a broad term used for sexual interests, activities or preferences that may sit outside what somebody considers conventional.
Not every kink involves BDSM, and not everyone interested in BDSM uses the word to describe themselves.
Fetish
A fetish generally describes a strong sexual interest in a particular object, material, body part or situation.
The term is sometimes used casually in a broader sense, so its meaning can depend on context.
Impact Play
Impact play is a BDSM term for consensual activities involving striking the body with a hand or purpose-designed implement.
Different forms can create very different sensations and risks.
Knowledge of appropriate body areas, equipment and intensity is important before exploring impact play.
Edge Play
“Edge play” is a broad and inconsistently defined term generally used for BDSM activities perceived by participants or communities as involving greater physical or psychological risk.
There is no universal list of what qualifies.
Someone describing an activity as edge play doesn't make that activity safe, and the term shouldn't replace understanding its specific risks.
SSC – Safe, Sane & Consensual
SSC stands for “Safe, Sane and Consensual”.
It is one framework historically used within BDSM communities to emphasise safety and consent.
No BDSM activity can be made completely risk-free simply by applying a label, so understanding the actual risks remains important.
RACK – Risk-Aware Consensual Kink
RACK stands for “Risk-Aware Consensual Kink”.
The concept emphasises recognising that some BDSM activities involve risk and making informed, consensual decisions about participation.
Like other frameworks, it doesn't remove the need for communication, knowledge and appropriate precautions.
BDSM Doesn't Have One Rulebook
BDSM covers a very wide range of interests, equipment and relationship dynamics.
Terms can also mean slightly different things to different people.
If somebody uses a word or phrase you're unsure about, asking what they mean is better than assuming.
Consent to one BDSM activity never automatically means consent to another.
Learn More with KinkRooms Guides
KinkRooms Guides are designed to help consenting adults understand BDSM terminology, bondage equipment, restraints, sensory play, chastity and adult toys before deciding what they may be interested in exploring.
If you're completely new to the subject, start with our BDSM for Beginners guide and then explore the individual guides covering the areas that interest you.
Knowledge, communication and understanding your equipment are important parts of exploring BDSM responsibly.
For consenting adults aged 18 and over.
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