Beginner’s Guide to Couples’ Sex Toys – Choosing Toys Together

Beginner’s Guide to Couples’ Sex Toys – Choosing Toys Together

Couples' sex toys can introduce new sensations, variety and shared experiences into a relationship. They include everything from couples' vibrators and remote-controlled toys to restraints, blindfolds and other products designed to be enjoyed together.

If you've never bought a sex toy as a couple before, the number of options can make knowing where to start difficult.

The right choice depends on what you both want to explore, your individual preferences and how comfortable you are trying something new together.

This beginner's guide looks at some of the different types of couples' sex toys and what to consider when choosing one.

What Are Couples' Sex Toys?

The term couples' sex toys covers a wide range of products that can be incorporated into consensual partnered sexual activity.

Some are specifically designed for two people, while others are individual toys that couples may choose to use together.

Couples' vibrators, remote-controlled vibrators, wearable toys, blindfolds and bondage restraints are just some examples.

There isn't a particular type of toy that every couple should try. Choose according to your shared interests rather than what you think couples are expected to enjoy.

Choosing Your First Sex Toy as a Couple

Talking about what interests you is the best place to start.

One person might be interested in vibration while the other is curious about sensory play or light bondage.

Discuss what you'd both like to try and anything either of you doesn't feel comfortable exploring.

For a first toy, choosing something relatively straightforward can allow you to concentrate on the shared experience rather than learning how complicated equipment works.

Couples' Vibrators

Couples' vibrators are designed to introduce vibration into partnered play.

Depending on the design, they may provide stimulation to one or both partners and can sometimes be worn during sexual activity.

Shapes and functions vary significantly between products.

Check how a particular couples' vibrator is designed to be positioned, its dimensions and the vibration settings available.

Our Beginner's Guide to Vibrators explains the different types of vibrators and some of the features worth considering.

Remote-Controlled Sex Toys

Remote-controlled toys allow one person to control some of the functions of a toy being used or worn by their partner.

Depending on the product, the controller may be able to change vibration intensity or patterns.

For some couples, giving a partner control can add anticipation and an element of consensual power exchange.

Agree boundaries beforehand and remember that control of a remote doesn't replace communication or ongoing consent.

Wearable Vibrators

Wearable vibrators are designed to remain positioned against or within the body, depending on the individual product.

Some can be controlled remotely, making them particularly popular for partnered play.

Comfort and fit are important with any wearable toy.

Follow the manufacturer's instructions for positioning and don't continue wearing a toy if it causes significant discomfort, numbness or another unexpected problem.

Clitoral Toys for Couples

A clitoral vibrator doesn't need to be specifically labelled as a couples' toy to be enjoyed with a partner.

Clitoral stimulators, compact vibrators and rose-style toys can all be incorporated into partnered experiences if both people want to use them.

Using a familiar toy together can also be a straightforward way to introduce sex toys into a relationship.

Our Beginner's Guide to Vibrators includes more information about clitoral vibrators and rose toys.

Dildos for Couples

Dildos are another category of sex toy that can be used during consensual partnered activity.

They are available in many different sizes, materials and designs, including realistic and suction-cup styles.

Choosing an appropriate size and understanding the intended use are important.

If you're unfamiliar with the different options, our Beginner's Guide to Dildos explains dildo sizes, girth, materials and other features to consider.

Blindfolds & Sensory Play for Couples

A blindfold can provide a relatively simple introduction to sensory play.

Reducing sight can increase anticipation and make someone concentrate more closely on touch and other sensations.

Talk about what you plan to explore before using the blindfold and continue communicating throughout.

Our Beginner's Guide to Blindfolds & Sensory Play provides more information about sensory play and using blindfolds.

Introducing Bondage as a Couple

Some couples become interested in exploring wrist cuffs, ankle restraints or other bondage equipment together.

If neither of you has used restraints before, start simply.

Learn how the restraint adjusts and releases before putting it on somebody and establish clear boundaries and a stop signal.

Our Beginner's Guide to Bondage Restraints explains the different types of restraint equipment and some of the important considerations for beginners.

Combining Toys

Once you're comfortable using individual toys, you may decide to combine different experiences.

A couple might combine a vibrator with a blindfold, for example, or introduce a simple wrist restraint alongside another familiar activity.

Combining toys can make an experience feel considerably different, so don't assume that enjoying two activities separately automatically means you'll enjoy them together.

Introduce combinations gradually and continue checking in with each other.

Talking About Sex Toys with Your Partner

Bringing up the idea of sex toys doesn't need to mean that something is missing from your relationship.

They can simply provide another way to explore shared interests and discover different sensations.

Try approaching the conversation with curiosity rather than presenting a particular toy as something your partner is expected to use.

Give each other space to express both interests and boundaries.

Consent & Couples' Toys

Consent applies to every partnered activity involving sex toys.

Agreeing to use one toy doesn't automatically mean agreeing to another activity or product.

Consent can also be withdrawn at any point.

If one person isn't comfortable with something, find another experience that genuinely interests both of you rather than applying pressure.

Cleaning Shared Sex Toys

Hygiene is particularly important when toys are shared.

Follow the manufacturer's cleaning instructions for each product and clean toys appropriately between users and different body areas.

Where appropriate for the particular toy, using a new compatible barrier such as a condom can provide an additional hygiene measure.

Never transfer an insertable toy directly from anal to vaginal use without appropriate cleaning and hygiene measures.

Choosing Lubricant

Lubricant can reduce unwanted friction and make many sex toys more comfortable to use.

Check that the lubricant is compatible with the material of the toy and suitable for the intended activity.

If you're uncertain, follow the recommendations provided by the toy and lubricant manufacturers.

Add more lubricant when needed rather than continuing if friction becomes uncomfortable.

Aftercare & Talking Afterwards

Aftercare isn't limited to intense BDSM activities.

Taking some time afterwards to talk about what you both enjoyed can be useful whenever you're exploring something new together.

Discuss anything that felt particularly good, anything you didn't enjoy and whether there's something you'd like to change next time.

This can make choosing future toys easier because you'll gradually learn more about each other's preferences.

Explore Couples' Sex Toys at KinkRooms

KinkRooms offers a selection of couples' sex toys, couples' vibrators, remote-control toys and adult toys for couples interested in exploring something new together.

Whether you're choosing your first couples' vibrator, introducing a blindfold or exploring light bondage, start with something that genuinely interests both of you.

You can also explore our KinkRooms Guides covering vibrators, dildos, sensory play and bondage equipment to learn more before choosing your next toy.

Take your time, communicate openly and make mutual enjoyment, comfort and consent part of the experience.

For consenting adults aged 18 and over.